Jokes For Cuckoo People

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

Posted by Jokemaster on Thursday, February 19th, 2009

Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you  chop.

Avoid arguments  with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the  sink.

For high blood  pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes,  thus reducing the pressure in your veins.  Remember to use a timer.

A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling  over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives; then you’ll be afraid to  cough.

 

You only need two tools in life – WD-40 and Duct Tape.  If it doesn’t move  and should, use the WD-40.  If it shouldn’t move and does, use the duct tape.

Remember:  Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

If you can’t fix it with a hammer, you’ve got an electrical problem.

Daily  Thought:
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES; NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

Posted in: Health Jokes, House Jokes, Idiot Joke.

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