Archive for the ‘Health Jokes’ Category
The Perfect Doctor
Q: I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it… Don’t waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that’s like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live [...]
The Final Word On Nutrition And Health
For those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on nutrition and health.It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than [...]
Will I live to be 90?
I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing ‘fairly well’ for my age.
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn’t resist asking him, ‘Do you think I’ll live to be 90?’
He asked, ‘Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?’
‘Oh no,’ [...]
AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop.
Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
A mouse [...]